The most important thing is an open dialogue, as you say, and utmost respect for the other person. Plus there's a lot of things we didn't get taught growing up that are slowly coming out through the Internet. Females are not expected to serve and MOST of the girls that do, only do so because they do not have a suitable read: If your GF is an attractive girl and still ended up on a mission then she is about as fanatical as they come and if she isn't already she will be slowly trying to convert you.
But he told me that he needs a wife who could take care of him, kids and house. Other guys I've dated in a similar situation have just asked me to put the keys in the mailbox when I leave though. If you feel peaceful with your decision and you feel it is right that should be helpful.
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Reading some of the post are making scared of what to expect. Save her and yourself more pain by ending it before you fall in love. Please realize I know how the church works, was extremely active and raised good kids. Marriage to the right person is wonderful. My wife and her family are a good example of this. How many chances will a girl have to find such a wonderful husband candidate. There will always be difference between spouses.
My wife is living proof that they CAN be worth it. But I'm trying to determine how much of that behavior is truly down to his profession, and how much of it is him not being very into me or just selfish and unwilling to compromise even if that selfishness is a byproduct of his residency, and not how he would be in other circumstances. The dots are extremely close for every LDS person, its just extremely hard to connect them. It is how she is programmed and it is a fundamental tenant of the religion. The first time, the shrink said, "It is very common for a woman to divorce so their children WILL see their father more. Additionally, just as corporate cultures exist, so does it exist for every family. They are not God. Many men have begun leaving the Church in their early twenties as the mission has become more important. You are a good person.